Shepherding people through the Baltimore riots – a letter to our courageous small group leaders

Below is a letter from one of the pastors of my church to the small group leaders. I think it's a good message to us all, so I asked if I could share it with my readers. Mitchell said yes!

Those of you who have read my fiction know my characters live near Baltimore ... as do I. This crisis has wearied me because it seems so vast and I feel so powerless against it. I've worked near these areas with families in need and have friends who currently work in the affected neighborhoods. Please pray for this city and those who work and live in it. Thank you!

Here's Mitchell ...

~*~

Dear small group leader,

The violence that has hit so close to home is both saddening and unnerving. We all know people directly affected – family and friends who live/work in the city, ministry partners valiantly seeking its welfare, and law enforcement officers seeking to uphold peace and order. Almost as troubling as the riots, has been the variety of perspectives, sentiments, and reactions that our people are expressing and posting. I want to encourage you to lead through these times. All of us have uncertainties and fears. He’s placed you in your group, and placed your group members under your care. The role of a small group leader is to cultivate a community that is becoming like Jesus and living out his mission. Our responses, postures and gestures toward what is happening in Baltimore are opportunities to be instruments of grace as well as recipients. At the risk of oversimplification, I’ve tried to summarize a few ways you can shepherd your people this week and next. 

1. Do not fear. 

It’s one of the most oft-repeated commands in the Bible. Do not let your hearts be trouble. Do not be afraid.

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling.” Ps 46:1-3

Life has always been hard. It has always been unpredictable. There have always been those who would seek to stir unrest and trouble for personal gain. The world of the Bible is no stranger to such calamity and danger.

Baltimore riots near Hopkins in 1968

God’s people have always been in the midst of it both as intercessors and peace-keepers, even when the circumstances were beyond their control. Listen to the sentiments of your people. When they express fear, ask them what they are afraid of.

Of course, don’t do this in a condescending way. We all have fears. In fact, as you read this, you may want to think about the fears that have been exposed in your own heart. Fear often reveals what we are looking to for security and safety for our lives. Most times, that security and safety is not in God. We can place it in our zip code, in law enforcement, in our perceptions of control, even in a particular race or socioeconomic level. All of these things will fail to provide the security and safety we desire because they don’t last and can’t control the human heart.

Fear makes us say and do all sorts of desperate things. Things we don’t mean. We can take extreme positions that don’t make sense. The sooner we recognize, name, and repent of our fears (after all, whatever we trust in for our security and safety outside of God is an idol), we will begin to see through the eyes of faith – fixing our eyes on what is unseen and eternal. It doesn’t mean we won’t feel afraid, but it does mean that we won’t react based on that fear. We know who holds us and Baltimore.

2. Keep an open mind. 

Guard your people from the business of blaming. When turmoil hits, especially threatening our perceptions of control and security, we want to blame someone or something. Why doesn’t someone do something? How could we have prevented this? We blame city officials, broken systems, thugs, police, laws, you name it. What is happening in Baltimore is the result of so much sin – on both sides of whatever line you draw. It’s been generations in the making. There is no easy fix to this. Listen for statements like, “if people would just…” or “if leaders would only…” “if they would…” We must guard our people (and ourselves) from an US vs. THEM mentality. There is so much that is indeed wrong with the current situation. Resist the urge to reduce the matter down to a few answers. Too often we can fool ourselves into thinking that we’ve done something about the problem by just critiquing it or discussing it.

Related to this, I think by blaming or looking for causes first, we skip the necessary role of God’s people to lament. There’s so much to say about the discipline of lament, but I’ll leave it at this. Until we can learn to really cry and hurt with those who are hurting, any solutions we offer or causes we identify will be condescending at best and patronizing at worst. Encourage your community to participate with the Spirit of Christ through humble, reflective (and even angry) tears. This is not how the world should be. This is not the glory of the city or the beauty of man on display. We are heartbroken over this.

3. Pray, don’t just post. 

In our social media world, we have to deal with this. Too many people are voicing their emotions and sentiments over the cyber airwaves with little thought to the context or way in which their frustrations might be received. Some are saying mean things. Some are just posting videos. Some are ranting and criticizing. Refrain from this. There’s already so much noise, so many media channels trying to spin this. Everyone wants someone to blame (see above). We recognize that what is happening is a world that is out of control. We won’t fix this with a post or a status. (Ironic that you’re probably reading this via some social media channel, isn’t it?) If you must post something, will you stop to pray before you post? If you are engrossed in reading the various takes and reports, will you stop to pray after each one?

As you lead your group, and various members share what they’ve read/heard/seen, stop and pray. Use each piece of added data as a way to pray more specifically. This way you’ll steer the conversation away from over-analysis or even worse, gossip.

“But seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the LORD on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare.” Jeremiah 29:7

4. Beware the suburban bubble.

I’m troubled by the number of people I’ve heard say, “I’m so glad I’m not there.” The temptation is all too real to isolate ourselves off from the trouble, to simply shrug off the plight of Baltimore with a sigh of relief that we’re not there. Christians have never taken that stance. They run to the battle, not away from it. Why? Because that’s what God did. He ran to face the great enemy, death, and he was victorious…at great cost. Encourage your small group to reconsider such language in light of the Gospel. What if God had taken the same stance towards us?

We must not think that the problem is just “over there”. Systemic inequality, oppression, injustice is everywhere, and the suburbs are no exception. We can watch the news and think that we are somehow walled off in safety, and fall into a false sense of peace and security, totally oblivious to the great evils around us…some of which we knowingly or unknowingly participate in. What if what we see in Baltimore is an opportunity for us to take an inventory of the kinds of lives we are living today? Are we living justly? Righteously?

Remember Jeremiah 29:7, in the welfare of the city, we find our welfare. God has so tied us to the plight of our neighbors that it’s impossible to contain what is happening to just one block or one zip code. To think that we can be immune and unaffected by the burning of the city is naive and irresponsible. I’d figure out a better way to say that to your group, but we must not ignore the kind of callous, “sucks to be you”, sort of privileged mentality that contributes to the problem.

5. Remember the heavenly city.

The most important encouragement I will give to you as a shepherd is to be a hope-giver. Though the streets should rumble, though the people should roar, though the looters should prosper, though the police should brutalize, we know that this is not what God intended, and that it is not what will be.

“There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy habitation of the Most High. God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns. The nations rage, the kingdoms totter; he utters his voice, the earth melts. The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.” Psalm 46:4-7

The final picture of God’s triumph in Revelation 21-22 is that of a heavenly city. It’s a beautiful, large, majestic city. God is in the midst of her, ruling over and dwelling with His redeemed people. John describes this city with so much detail, and then makes a startling observation. God fills this city.

“And I saw no temple in the city, for its temple is the Lord God the Almighty and the Lamb. And the city has no need of sun or moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and its lamp is the Lamb. By its light will the nations walk, and the kings of the earth will bring their glory into it, and its gates will never be shut by day—and there will be no night there. They will bring into it the glory and the honor of the nations.” Revelation 21:22-26

Cities have gates because they have threats. Gates keep people in and people out. This city never shuts its gates. There are no threats. There’s not even a cover of night to pose a possible threat. That means no curfews. No state of emergency. No national guard. No riot police. No SWAT. No burning buildings. Not even a protestor. No brutality. No young men killed way too young. No mothers grieving. No communities at odds. No tension. Just a city with light shown by a Lamb.

If nothing else sticks in the above, remember the heavenly city. Meditate on it until you can draw a picture of it on a napkin for your small group. Let a vision of the heavenly city permeate you and redirect your tears. I think you’ll find yourself talking to your group differently, and maybe in seeing what’s going on in you, your group will experience the same.

We have a tough task ahead of us, leaders, but the grace of God affords us hope that no city official can give. Do your best, love your people, and God will show up.

Love you all and so proud to stand alongside you,

Mitchel

~*~

Feel free to add your prayers in the comments section.

Kym McNabney Shares about Prison Ministries

One of the greatest things about becoming a blogger is the connections I’ve made with other authors/bloggers and the various ministries I’ve come across to serve our big and powerful God. This week I had the great fortune to e-meet Kym McNabney and find out about her involvement in prison ministries through Willow Creek Community Church. I bet she has some stories to tell. In fact, she does, and thirteen are shared in the book, Stories of Faith and Courage from Prison, by Connie Cameron and Jeff Peck.
 
Find out more …
 
Stories of Faith and Courage from Prison, is an inspirational collection of true stories laid out in a daily format; one per day for 365 days. Each story will tell about a work of God in the lives of those who have experienced some aspect of prison. A single scripture verse will accompany each writing, pointing to the hope and truth found in God’s word.

While incarcerated, many inmates spiritually hit bottom and come face-to-face with the choices they have made. Thankfully, God uses Christian volunteers, prison chaplains, family members, outside friends, Christian pen pals, and other inmates, to share His love and truth with the lost behind bars. Regardless of how they are offered hope, inmate’s testimonies, along with their daily walk challenges, are moving and inspirational.

You will read amazing stories including Brandon, a prisoner who had a prayer warrior mother, and was also visited by a Christian volunteer. Brandon came to Christ while incarcerated, and witnessed constant gang activity behind bars, including preying upon the youth on the outside. Since his release, Brandon often risks his life in his ministry of intervening in the lives of youth who are at risk to become involved in gang activity.

The battle for the souls of inmates is fierce. One female prisoner said, “When I first arrived at prison in 2002, Christianity was openly practiced and Satanic practices were underground. Now it is just the opposite.” This inspirational book will remind Christians of their admonishment by Jesus to visit the imprisoned, to pray for them, and to share the gospel with them (Matthew 25:36). These collective, true stories will especially touch those who are uncomfortable with prison ministry, helping them to develop compassion for the shunned souls of society.

Quotes from inmate letters:
 
I was deeply moved by receiving the blessing of the gifts Willow sent. Being that I don’t have support from family and friends, I’ve come to understand my real family comes from God. God had showed me over the years that He’s the only one I need to depend on. Even though I didn’t hear from family and friends, I was relieved knowing that God always thinks of His people, by utilizing your church and staff to reach out to people such as myself. I want to thank you all personally for doing the work of our Father.

James, Pontiac CC

My purpose for writing you is to inform you that I have received the Christmas bag Willow sent to the prison, and wanted to say to all that worked on this touching idea, thank you, thank you, thank you.
To put all of your judgment about those in prison to the side, and sacrifice your time and money to send something that is helpful, was very heartwarming. 
 
A.J., Pontiac CC

Thank you so much for the gifts Willow gave me on Christmas, and your thoughts and prayers. It is because of all of you that I have finally decided to accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.
 
Johnathon, Ogle County Jail

Thank you so very much for thinking of us in prison. You put a huge smile on our faces. That was very thoughtful and I’m very grateful. I feel like the Spiritual Survival book was meant for me.

Samantha, Logan CC

I wish to offer my words of gratitude. What you did was more than give us snacks and trinkets. You even did more than speak to our spirituality. You showed us that you cared about us, despite our faults. You brought us some semblance of a Christmas season. Receiving those packages and digging through them with wonder and anticipation gave us a chance to remember how Christmas use to be. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. To take up your time and money to do that for us, without even knowing who we are, this is not something that will be soon forgotten.

Brian, Pontiac CC

Thank you for the Christmas cards. I thought I was not going to be able to send a Christmas card to my mom, but thanks to you I was able to. This is my first Christmas away from my family and no one send me a card. I was mad until I got this from you. It made my day.

Rayvone, Vienna CC

When I returned to my housing unit on December 18^th, I found a package on my desk that was donated by your congregation. This was the first time in 11 years that anyone has given me any type of gift for the Christmas holiday.
 
Ken, Pontiac CC

I am writing from Massachusetts to thank you for all that Willow dose with the prison ministry there in IL. I have a nephew that’s incarcerated in Cook County Jail. He asked for a Bible, and received one. He’s now exploring his faith.

Teresa G, aunt of an incarcerated nephew

Thank you all for thinking about us in here. So often society looks at us as expandable, incorrigible, evil, wicked, undesirable, etc. In fact most of us are not any of those things. We are guilty of our crimes 90% of the time, but our crimes are not the sum total of who we are. The gifts you send are Gods love in action.

Patrice, Pontiac CC

*********
Kym McNabney is wife and mother. A member of American Christian Fiction Writers, and the treasurer for the ACFW Chicago Area Chapter. She fosters for Collie Rescue of Greater IL, and writes for their newsletter. The Coordinator for the pen pal program through Willow Creek Community Church, and involved in other areas of the prison and jail ministry. She had thirteen stories published in, Stories of Faith and Courage from Prison. When she’s not writing she loves to read, listen to music, and watch movies.

Blog, http://kymmcnabney.blogspot.com/
 
twitter, http://twitter.com/kymmcnabney
 
facebook, https://www.facebook.com/#!/AuthorKymMcNabney
 
pinterest, http://www.pinterest.com/kymmcnabney/
 
Other posts you might like:
 
3rdDay Rocker—Making Ministry from a Passion
 

March of the Minions
 

My Prayer Shawl Ministry

Prayers for Those with Autism

One of my most read posts, and consequently, most commented on, is “Can God Heal Autsim?” It seems many people are dealing with this issue and would like answers as to what God’s role is in the whole affair. I’m not going to tell you the answer because I don’t feel there is only ONE. God deals with each and every one of His Creations differently. He made us unique. He will treat us as such.

Still, I know God CAN heal autism. I also know that He can do miraculous things THROUGH autism, as He has for my family. Either way, it’s best for all of us if we invite God into the process of our lives so He can work as He deems best. To trust in HIM.

In the above mentioned post, I ask my readers to pray for my son (who has autism), and I promise to pray for their afflicted child, as well. And I do. Many have left comments to tell me of their children. Others have emailed me. So today, I’m going to do that again.

Out loud this time!

Please join me in praying for these children, their families and the many others struggling with this disorder. Pray for healing, pray for patience, pray for resources, pray for answers. Pray that we see God in the process and know that He is Good.

Pray! It’s the most powerful thing you can do!

…

Dear Lord,

We thank you that you are an intimate part of each of our lives. Not You and a crowd of believers, but You and ME, You and Bridgette, You and Hannah, You and Des, You and Aida, You and Rebekah.

You and each and every one of us—individually. You treat us as the unique creation we are, not as others want us to be.

We thank you that you watch over our needs and give us what is best. We thank you for the many others who commented on the previous post with thoughts, prayers and resources—Albert Soo, Hannah Lim, Thomas Wagner and those who did not leave their name. We thank you for the many who have prayed. We praise you that you created believers who care!

Please, dear Lord, we ask that You will continue to show Yourself in our lives, that you will bless all our children and cause them to know You as well. We ask that You will give us the resources for the jobs you have mapped out for us.

Give us peace, give us guidance, give us Your Joy!

Lord, please show us how to pray for our family. The Bible tells us Your Holy Spirit translates our groans into prayer. I’m groaning Lord! Know my heart. I know You do. Thank You for that.

And as always, Lord, I pray you will heal my son. I pray You will give him words to speak so he can tell me all that is on his heart. I pray for all the others who are dealing with the troubling effects of this disorder. I pray for those who’ve requested prayer from me and my readers, those who have the disorder: Matthew, James and Rashad, and the many who did not leave a name. I pray these families will see Your work in their lives today and know it is REAL.

I pray this in Your Holy Son’s name, Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior!

Amen.

How the Story of Rudolf Is Like the Body of Christ

Rudolf The Red Nosed Reindeer. This is such a great story!!!

Why do I love it so much?

Is it the awesome animation, groovy-hip music, the rounded characters and superb acting?


Actually, it’s the theme of discovering the personal characteristic that makes us feel like a misfit is actually what God gave us as a gift. Like the Body of Christ.

Think about it.

Rudolf’s weird nose saves Christmas. The elf who doesn’t want to build toys, can fix teeth. The Abominable Snowman is the only one tall enough to place the star on the tree and was trained by the gold miner who couldn’t seem to find gold. Lastly, who better to find homes for the Misfit Toys than those who are misfits themselves?

This is how God uses us, as different members of the Body. If you question this idea, read the stories in the Bible. The small shepherd boy who defeats a giant and becomes a warrior king. The man “slow of speech” speaks to Pharaoh. The carpenter’s son (or so it was thought) is truly the Son of God.

We are all gifted by Him to be used for His purposes. When we use them for ourselves, they become a deficit. When seen in light of God’s Will, He will make them our strength!

It’s funny how we often can’t recognize our own gifts. We’ve lived with them all our lives, take them for granted, and don’t realize others are not gifted similarly. Unfortunately, when we do notice others lacking of our gift (the one we take for granted), we see it as a deficit, rather than recognizing their complementary skills. That’s why my other favorite Christmas movie is It’s a Wonderful Life. A movie about a man who’d only done what he knew was right all his life, not realizing his impact, until one day an angel showed him.

There are many George Bailey’s in our world. You could be one of them.

I pray for you all this season, that you will open a most precious gift—the one God gave you for His purpose. It’s a one-of-a-kind, especially made for only you. You’ll love it when you recognize it, because it will bring you lots of happiness when you use it. However, when you use it for Him, it won’t just make you happy …

It will bring you Great, Soul-stirring Joy!

Other posts you might like:
When You Don’t Fit the Mold—by Rachel Phifer
How One Small Girl Inspired a Ministry of Access
A No-Matter-What Kind of Joy

3rdDay Rocker—Making A Ministry From A Passion

If you’ve ever searched for a Third Day song on Youtube you may have come across the name “3rdDayRocker.” I know I have. I always wondered about this guy who gave me so many hours of great Third Day video viewing pleasure before I ever had a chance to see the band live.

Then I became a Third Day Gomer … and got to e-meet, not only him (Dean Radloff), but his wonderful wife, Dodie—the people who turned their passion for great music into a ministry for Christ. I know many who’ve been blessed by Christian music in times of trouble. Dean and Dodie Radloff have made it a point to expand the reach of this art form. So glad they did.

Now, let me introduce them to you …

Connie: Dean and Dodie, tell us about this ministry to bring Christian music to the masses?

Dean: God gifted me with videography skills; a passion for video recording and a very steady hand to obtain high quality concert videos. Dodie and I love attending Christian concerts. I usually video record several songs at each concert we attend, and post them on YouTube. My 3rdDayRocker YouTube channel has blessed countless people with the ability to view a large variety of Christian artists performing live.

Connie: Oh, yes!

How long have you done this, and what prompted you to start?

Dean: I've been video recording at concerts since 2004, albeit with low grade pocket cameras. I began using better quality cameras in 2008. Videos make a great, memorable keepsake of concerts. I felt God was prompting me to share my work with the world, so I decided to open a YouTube account and started posting my videos in January 2009.

Connie: Thank you, Jesus!

Did it start out as a ministry? What happened?

Dean: Originally, the whole video recording hobby was just that; a hobby and a personal keepsake. When I felt God prompting me to start sharing via YouTube, I guess you could say it then developed into a ministry of sorts. A wide variety of positive comments on my videos is a testimony that God is reaching people through them. God's love, joy, peace, healing, and overall blessings received through the Christian artists' music have been conveyed through numerous comments and messages on my YouTube channel.

Connie: Can you describe how it's evolved over the years?

Dean: As anticipated, viewership was fairly small at first. As more and more videos from more and more Christian artists were added, viewership and the number of subscribers grew rapidly. My channel currently has 3,200+ subscribers and has over 3.6 million views. I refuse to monetize my channel (allowing pop-up ads). It blesses me to know others are blessed by great Christian music too. That is very rewarding.

Connie: Wow! I love that!

Dodie: It really blesses us when we are at a concert, out of town, and someone comes up to Dean and says "Are you 3rddayrocker?" It happens at almost every show we go to, and it just reinforces in our hearts that what Dean does is valuable. 

Connie: Yes it is!

Connie: Do you have future plans for your ministry?

I simply plan to keep doing what God has gifted me to do; video record and share with the masses via YouTube and facebook.

Connie: Thank you.

How many concerts do you think you've gone to over the years?

Dean: Way too many to count or even estimate accurately. I became an avid concertgoer as a teenager. Probably at least 500 so far. Since May 2011, Dodie and I have been to 20 Third Day concerts, with 4 more scheduled for this year, and 41 non-Third Day concerts. No wonder we're semi-broke at times. For us, I guess you'd say it's not just a pastime, it's a lifestyle. ;)

Connie: Yep! I remind my husband of the expense of his golf whenever he questions the cost of my concert-going.

Ahem, back to you …

Do you know how many videos you have uploaded?

Dean: So far, 1,200+. The great majority of them are videos I personally recorded at concerts.

Connie: What goes into the process?

Dean: The process of uploading to YouTube? Depends upon the source material and video quality. The larger the video file, the longer it takes time-wise for each upload. As previously stated, the majority are concert videos I recorded. Some are album tracks (songs), some from TV broadcasts, a few from radio interviews. Some videos require some editing prior to uploading, so they take a bit longer to complete. Dodie and I store the original files on hard drives, so they can be viewed and enjoyed on our 55 inch HDTV and Surround Sound system. I've also burned videos to DVD, to share them with others.

Connie: Oh, cool!!!

Do you have a favorite story about a concert you've attended or a video you've shared (or both)?

Dean: A few favorite moments come to mind. Once, we burned 90+ DVDs of a large Gomer gathering and Third Day concert, to share the memorable event with several of our Gomer friends. (For those who don't know what a Gomer is …

Connie: Ahem, they should if they’ve read much of this blog …

… we are a community of ultra-fanatical Third Day fans.) Aside from having a large library of concert and music videos as personal keepsakes, our favorite part is simply sharing and blessing countless people everywhere. Neither of us have musical talent, but we do have the pleasure of sharing live Christian music with the world. We know God touches people in a variety of ways through the great Christian artists we promote via YouTube.

A favorite concert moment was a time when Third Day lead singer Mac Powell grabbed my camera and got some video from the stage.

If you can’t view the video imbed, check out this link.

Dodie: The most meaningful moments we have are the Third Day shows that we get to attend with some of our closest friends from other states. Dean's job blesses us with free flight benefits, so we get to spend quite a bit of time with some friends we dearly love, who live several hundred miles away. One of the most memorable experiences I can think of, though, was a Third Day show that we attended in Detroit, right after we got married, and Mac Powell dedicated a song to Dean and me during the show. That was very exciting, and very unexpected. 

Connie: Awwwww! I soooo love that! I don’t have that video on here, but I have one close to it. This one was recorded only a few days ago.

Thank you, Dean and Dodie, for visiting LBOC today. You guys are like Gomer royalty ;o).

Visit the 3rdDayRocker YouTube channel here:

http://www.youtube.com/user/3rdDayRocker

Other posts you might like:

March of the Minions

When It Rains, He’s There

Where Did You First Meet God in the Bible?

March of the Minions

Don’t you just love those little yellow guys?!

A few weeks ago I encouraged you to BE a Minion (for God). My point, in case you missed it, was that we don’t have to do BIG things for God for Him to make BIG things happen in us. This week, I wanted to give you examples of what this can look like, so I’m going to do one of those “best of” thingies where I go through past posts to find other Minions for the MIGHTY. These are people who put their faith in action in the everyday. Read the excerpts and see how you can be ready for when God calls you to do something similar. These are not stories about those who served. They are stories about the people who were impacted. See how God used the servers to fill other’s need of a Savior.

Excerpts from Greg Holt’s testimony—a man who was shown Christ when his life was in shambles. I love how he calls his new friends “those” people. Haven’t many of us been afraid of being one of “those?” See what they do for him …

Along the way in this part of the story God stepped in. My wife was a school bus driver, and picked up a special needs child. She became friends with this child’s parents. They were not my friends. I really did not want to have anything to do with them. To make a long story short…I became friends with this couple. This is when things got really interesting.

This couple, well they were some of “those” people; you know those Christian people. Now I began to really like these guys, even though they were Christians. They would talk about God without shoving it down my throat, always had Christian music on. There was just something different about them. They were so nice and always willing to help me out even with my son who was a handful.

See the whole story. “Greg Holt—A Gomer Testimony”

***

Excerpts from Rachel Rutledge’s testimony. She wrote mostly about how the music of Third Day inspired her many times of her life, but what enamored me with her story was when she tells of how a member of the band reached out to her personally. See what I mean …

I was traveling home to Virginia after some girlfriends and I had sung at an event. I stopped at a gas station, when I ran into this band named Third Day! I can't be positive which group member I spoke to (we were all so young then). It was either Mark or David. He wore a 3D t-shirt - upon which I struck up a conversation. I said how I loved the name and that I too was in a group. He then took the next several minutes to witness to me right there in the middle of nowhere at 2am. Even though I was already a Christian, I listened and was so impressed by his heart and willingness to share with a stranger in that situation. It would have been so easy to say hi, thank you, and to move on. From that moment on, I fell in love with Third Day... and more-so with their heart and love for the Lord.

Little did that band member know, but he gave me much hope that night. See, just days before I had been hit several times by my husband while in the car driving to Virginia. I had been in an abusive marriage for 5 years at that point—desperately trying to work things out.

See the whole story. “Rachel Rutledge—A Gomer Testimony"

***

Excerpts From Chris Cowans’ testimony. A story about a man who was brought to Christ after an explosion almost took his life. There are many minions in this one.

First, one of his colleagues who’d endured the blast with him …

I need to give you some background on the man with the injured legs. His name is Todd Adams. He had been working with me for over four years. I knew he was a Christian. He and I had numerous discussions over the years about his God and his God’s Word. I had attended a First United Methodist church as a child, but I had not attended any church for over twenty years. I was interested in the discussions we had about Jesus Christ, but I did not see eye to eye with everything we discussed. He said he believed everything as it appeared in the Bible, in other words, there were no contradictions of scripture. I had read some of the Bible before. I found what appeared to me to be many contradictions in the scriptures. I could not follow this line of thinking. I believed in a God who was an all-loving, merciful God. I could confess my sins on my deathbed and all would be forgiven. After the explosion occurred, my eyes and ears were opened to the truth.

…

Todd had managed to drag the injured man lying on the floor, Rick, closer to the open doorway. He then assisted Jeff who was still sitting on the floor. Jeff is about 6’ 5" tall and 250 pounds. Todd’s legs were just about to give out on him at this point. Todd called on the name of Jesus to give him the strength to help his injured co-worker. At this point, help had started to arrive.

…

Then, there is Chris’s teacher who had no idea how her lesson would one day come in handy …

I was not a man given over to a steady prayer life, but I felt that, if there was a God, maybe He could help my friends. I began to pray for my friends and co-workers to all be found alive and to thank God for sending all of the help he had provided. 
My fourth grade public elementary reading teacher taught my class the 23rd Psalm back in Decatur, Indiana, during the years 1969-1970. I do not think I understood the significance of the words to this beautiful Psalm during that time. I had not even thought of this Psalm for over 20 years. But while I was lying on the ice praying to God for my friends to be all right, this Psalm popped into my head just as clear and fresh as if I had been reading the words. I felt the Spirit of God descend upon me and immediately the Spirit gave me peace and comfort. I knew I would be all right, and that He was in control of the situation.

…

And here are people Chris had only met once. Don’t think your small acts go unused by the Almighty …

During this time I received many visits from friends and strangers. I had numerous visits from church friends of my injured co-worker. I knew some, but not all of these people. Their love, generosity, and compassion touched me. Two instances, which occurred in the hospital, stand out in my mind. The day I was released, a new nurse was sent in to my room to tend to my injuries. While she was cleaning my burns and applying fresh dressings, she asked me if I knew Jesus. This got my mind to thinking. Did I know Jesus? I had been told of Jesus as a child. I had been told Jesus loved me. But, did I really know Jesus? I couldn’t give her a good answer. I told her I knew of Jesus, but it had been a while since I had been to church or thought about him. She told me Jesus could help me in my road to recovery.  One day before I was released, a woman came into my room. She appeared to be in her mid-thirties and was dressed in a hospital gown. She was a patient at the hospital also. She said she had heard of the accident. She told me to put my faith in the Lord Jesus and he would take care of me. She left the room and I never saw her again. Her picture was in the obituary column the next day. She had died that night. I believe the paper stated she had died of cancer. My mind started to think about the direction my life had been taking and where I needed to be in my walk with God.

Powerful, huh?!!! Look at all those Minions!!!

See the whole story. “How God Got My Attention”

***

And there’s more …

A severely disabled girl who inspired a Special Needs Ministry that spans a continent.

“How One Girl Inspired A Ministry of Access”

One man who inspired one man … who inspires thousands.

“The Man Who Inspired A Congregation—Sorta”

The cashier who brightens everyone’s day

“The Button Lady”

The Baker for God

“The Way to God’s Heart Can Be Through His Children’s Stomachs”

The autistic young man who inspires a church service

“Jake, The Encourager” I REALLY love this one!!!

While traveling through this “blast from the past” to pick out tidbits of minions to share with you, I found something amazing. In some of these testimonies there is no mention of another person at all—just an encounter with God. However, I suppose there were those who’d been there in some way, and others who prayed at various times of that person’s life. Either way, it is a reminder that WE are not the be-all and end-all of salvation—“I Am” is. He chooses to use us not because He needs us, but because He wants us in The Body, working together for His Glory.

Do you have minions who’ve meant a lot to you? Tell us about them.

Captive in Iran—Book Commentary

When I first heard about Captive in Iran, by Maryam Rostampour and Marziyeh Amirizadeh, I knew it would be interesting—a story of two women in an Iranian prison, jailed for their faith—but it was so much more than that. It was more than an opportunity to learn about another’s culture and how it oppresses the faith I take for granted in my own country. It was a reminder of God’s unending love, unceasing providence and extraordinary wisdom. Though the story is told through two women, I think they’d be the first to agree, it’s not their story—it’s God’s.

What did I gain from reading this account of how two women were unfairly imprisoned with no knowledge of the actual charges and no idea if they’d be executed for them? Hmmm. Let’s see …

I was inspired to maintain faith through storms, long periods of “drought” and to remember that God is always working behind the scenes.

I learned God uses all things for His glory, even in persecution.

I learned He is mightiest when all seems lost.

I learned the power of forgiveness, the power of friendship, the power of love, the power of prayer and even the power of blogging :o)!

I learned miracles happen today.

I learned not to judge others whose lives are very different from mine.

I learned what is really important in life.

I learned to appreciate freedom of religion.

I learned a lot about Iran I hadn’t known before, like the confusing laws about faith, the horrible treatment of women (sanctioned by the prevailing religious forces) and the propaganda against Christianity (like the selling of a false Christian gospel in the stores). I also learned about the “underground believers” who know the real Jesus Christ, but cannot acknowledge Him in public for fear of their safety.

Pray for these people!!!

Lastly, I learned how to evangelize. These women did not push their faith in prison, they just built friendships based on respect and trustworthiness and spoke truth when asked questions.

Read this book and pray for the people of Iran!

Other posts you might like:

A No-Matter-What Kind of Joy

When It Rains, He’s There

Let Me See Redemption Win

Such As These

Years ago, the church I belonged to had a Layman’s Sunday, when the clergy would allow members of the church-body to run the Sunday Service. On one of these Sundays one member of the church shared the story of his family’s conversion to Christianity.

His family was not a church-going one. However, he had a mentally-challenged brother who lived in a home with adults like himself. Family members would visit this brother at this home, but they would never find him there on Sunday mornings. That was the day he attended church. No one at the home prompted him to go. He did it on his own.

Eventually, family members wanted to see what it was that drew him there, and also wanted to use this time to spend with him. So they attended too. One by one they began to go to church on their own, and one by one they developed a new appreciation for the God who created them.

What a wordless witness this mentally-challenged man was. An empty vessel, as God wants all of us to be. Living his faith for his siblings to see and copy. We should all be so gifted.

…the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it. Mark 10:14b-15 NIV.

When Evil Says ‘God Is Good’

A few weeks ago there was a news story about a man who’d done something so horrific it shot ugly chills down my spine. I couldn’t fathom its reality. Can such evil really exist today? But what concerned me more was a report that the perpetrator of this horrific act had posted the following on his Facebook status the day before his arrest:

“God is good.”

Having read those words on many a Christian blog and used them myself, it made me think.

The Bible tells us there will be wolves in sheep’s clothing and false prophets to watch out for (Matthew 7:15, NIV). Hitler even had Bible verses, taken out of context, to support his evil agenda.

So what do we do to separate ourselves from those who perpetrate evil? How do we advance the Kingdom of God when it can be associated with such things?

I’ve noticed, recently, many preachers, teachers and writers work to separate themselves from the legalistic brand by changing the lingo. Certain words and phrases used by the Christian community had become overused without a full understanding of their meaning, or aligned with incorrect or incomplete theology. Words associated with legalism, like religion or religious, and to some, even Christian, have been replaced with relationship, Christian spirituality and Christ follower. For some reason this never appeals to me. I guess it’s because when I worked in day care (years ago) I watched kids turn the, then, new term “mentally challenged” into the same slur the old term had become, without batting an eye. Changing the language had only given those intent to misuse it more fodder with which to abuse.

Words are words and are only given meaning in how they are used. Webster is forever making new dictionaries to keep up with the changing contexts of its vocabulary. Words can be used well, but even new and pristine terms can be perverted by evil.

What, then, is the solution? How do Christians, who seek to live their lives according to God’s Word, separate themselves from those who misuse it? I’d suggest, rather than spending your efforts in developing, defining and using a new vocabulary, to take back the meanings God intended for those we have, and expressing them through our actions. Be the tree bearing good fruit (Matthew 7:16). Show others what it means to live as God intended, righteous lives, filled with His Truth, His Love, and His Grace.

It’s good stuff and others need to see how it works!

He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God (Micah 6:8, NIV)

Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven. (Matthew 5:15-16, NIV)

Archie Bunker on Shoes and Socks

If you can't see the imbed below, check out this link to a Classic clip from the show All in the Family before reading on.

Every time I put on my shoes and socks I think of this scene from All in the Family. It’s amazing how today, if you want to get a glimpse of a show from the past, all you have to do is Youtube it. For this one, I typed in “Archie Bunker shoes and socks” and there it was.

How awesome is that!

But before I ramble on about the virtues of Youtube—though it is uber-cool to pull up the past in living color so easily—I really wanted to talk about how people were made to think differently.

Okay, I admit it. I’m still not as progressive as Meat-head (that’s the brown-haired dude to those too young to remember this show). In fact, I still clothe my feet, socks on both first, then shoes. But I have often wondered if it would be more efficient to complete one whole foot before moving on to the other? That way I wouldn’t have to move each foot back and forth as much.

Anyone else wonder this?

<crickets chirping …>

Anyone?

<crickets chirping louder>

Bueller—I mean—Anyone?

<bullfrog croaks>

Okay, I’m the only one pondering the order of how to put on shoes, but this got me thinking about a lot of things. Why do most people put socks on both feet before moving on to shoes? And why does Meat-head’s way, though possibly more efficient, seem so odd.

Maybe because Archie’s method is how it’s always been done.

There are lots of ruts we get into like this one. Kind of like the Pharisaical laws. First, there were God’s laws, but then the teachers of the law threw in a few extra to help the sinners in obeying the first. But instead of being suggestions to help, they became laws themselves, proscribing judgment and punishment for not following them. I’m sure many of us can think of church rules and mores (pronounced morays) in some of our congregations today that have been elevated beyond their due. That is not to say some are not helpful suggestions, but we should not call it sin when these new things are not adhered to.

I remember seeing a video years ago based on a classic novel where a congregation protested the addition of the new-fangled organ replacing hand-held instruments used for worship. The argument was that the organ, being different, was “devil’s music.” I was floored that such a thing could be true considering some churches today have protested the organ giving way to worship bands (using hand-held instruments).

As Christians, it’s always important to consult the Bible in order that we act according to His Will. We need to do it for two reasons. Not only that we ensure what we DO honors God. But also that we don’t stifle our creativity in using all our gifts simply because what is being suggested has never been done before, or looks different from what we're used to. By knowing the whole book, what is and is not proscribed, we can’t allow it to be used in such a way.

God is an amazing, creative God. He is boundless. We should not keep Him in a box—nor His creations—that He did not design.

Another good reason to study that big-ole Book yourself. You never know how freeing that knowledge can be.

Other posts you might like:

Jake, The Encourager

When A Christian Music Artist Loses His Voice

What Did Moses Do Anyway?

How To Treat a Child with Autism

Yikes!

I just realized that though I’ve often blogged about my son and the challenges he and I face due to his autism, and last week I complained about how people too often treat him only by his diagnosis rather than the fullness of who he is, I rarely give examples of HOW TO treat him.

The average person, who does not know my son, is not likely to have a clue since they rely solely by means of verbal communication in order to get to know someone. Because of this reliance, he or she may not know how to use the very thing my son is gifted in—heart. Though I already have a few examples of one church’s response to a member with autism (see “Jake, The Encourager”) and I also have a post by the couple who leads a ministry for special needs teens in our county (see “Young Life for Teens with Special Needs”), I have never told you how one man, who did not know my son at all, reached out to him and invited him to help in ministry.

Michael Dransfield will always go down in my memory as the man who got it right! How did he do that? By looking past the disability.

The church I attended at that time held its services in their gymnasium. For this reason, it required a team of volunteers to set up and breakdown rows of chairs before and after services. After one service, I was busy chatting with a friend—as is often the case—while my son watched the hustle and bustle of the clean-up crew. Mr. Dransfield, bright smile on his face, approached my son and asked, “Would you like to help us clean up?” I quickly interceded to inform him my son didn’t understand because he had autism.

Michael—absolutely undaunted, smile never wavering in the least—answered, “That’s okay. I’ll show him what to do.”

While I himmed and hawed about whether to allow it, or if I should oversee and help—knowing he needed lots of demonstration to understand—my son had already followed Mr. Dransfield to his first chair, and was off to set it on the rack. I just sat back and watched. My son stacked chair after chair, then pushed the stack to the storage room. All at the direction of this man with a generous heart.

My son emerged from the storage room strutting like he was the man of the hour. He had purpose! Someone believed in him and was willing to take the time to work with him. I didn’t feel any of the guilt I usually feel, whenever I sign my son up for activities that would require the coordinators to find a “buddy” to oversee him. I didn’t feel the need to be the “buddy” myself. I just watched him be productive. I loved it. And what’s more, he loved it too. He was so proud and I was proud for him.

Thank you, Michael Dransfield, for giving me this beautiful image of how TO treat a child with autism. I will never forget!

Other posts you might like:

Be His Witness By Demonstrating With-ness

Do You Ever Feel Your Offering Is Too Small?

11 Days Past Autism Awareness Month

Be His Witness By Demonstrating With-ness

Matthew 1:23 The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call Him Immanuel—which means, “God with us.”

John 1:1-2 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning.

God’s with-ness to us and ours to His children has been on my mind a great many years. It started when I counseled young, successful, perfectionist women who never felt they measured up to all God wanted them to do. I used to remind them of the story of Mary and Martha and who had done the better thing (Luke 10:38-42). I told them they were created human beings and not human doings.

God’s ultimate goal for us is to be with us in heaven for eternity—relationship. This state of being is exemplified in His name I am, Who am. Though He has done countless, extraordinary things, nowhere in the Bible is He entitled I do, because, though He may call us to action, the best action starts with relationship.

Then my son was born. My son with autism who is delayed in so many of those things we use to measure success in an individual—including speech. He could never tell me he loved me, and I could not be sure he understood when I told him. The only way I could communicate my love was in my with-ness. Being there for him in good times and in bad.

He understood. 

How do I know this? Because he is the first to show others this state of being in times of need. He’s sought out troubled souls in large gatherings to kiss them for no apparent reason, lighting up their sorrowed faces. He’s come into a different room to look into my eyes, because somehow he knew I was crying. He sits with me when I feel alone, and reminds me to pray when I’m distraught.

One time, when he was about three, after his father had just come home from a trip and we were catching up on all that had happened while he’d been gone, my son slowly scooted my husband closer to me in the kitchen. Then he scooted me closer to my husband. No words. He went back and forth a few times until our bodies met—my husband, still chatting on as he did. Then, he wrapped his arms around both our legs. He knew what we really needed to catch up on—being with.

This is what God ultimately wants from us. It’s what His son gave us while He was here. It is how we demonstrate Godliness to those who do not know God. It doesn’t take words. It takes relationship.

A few months ago, our nation saw a tragedy in a massive shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School, where twenty children and six adults were murdered. A friend of mine asked me, “What do you say to those who’ve just experienced that kind of loss?” The answer is, “Nothing.” Any words will sound trite—things the hearer already knows or is not ready to hear. James 1:19 tells us to be slow to speak and quick to listen. It’s part of being with, and yet it is one of the hardest things for us to actually do, because it feels like we are doing nothing at all.

I bet you think this message is strange coming from a writer whose ministry is in the use of words. But it’s one of those things that makes me even more attuned to the vulnerability of them. They can be purposeful and life-giving. Yet without relationship to give them credibility, they are just etchings on a page or noise in the air. So, remember, while flexing your skill to be a better “witness” for the Lord, make sure you demonstrate His Love through your With-ness.

Other posts you might like:

Is God Teaching Me Patience or Praise?

Christ: The Perfect Romance

To Parallel My Life with My Savior

Did the Apostles Really ‘Dis’ Waitresses?

In Acts 6:2 (NIV), when the Grecian Jews complained that widows were being overlooked in the daily distribution of food, the apostles gathered the disciples together and said, “It would not be right for us to neglect the ministry of the word of God in order to wait on tables.”

At first glance, this verse struck me as a bit haughty, as if waiting on tables was beneath them. However, it’s a great example of why no verse in the Bible should ever be considered out of context—it can be horribly misconstrued. Now let’s put this one back where it belongs. The next line, verse 3, reads: “Brothers, choose seven men from among you who are known to be full of the Spirit and wisdom. We will turn this responsibility over to them and will give our attention to prayer and the ministry of the word.” With this in mind they first chose Stephen, a man full of faith and the Holy Spirit.

In other words, these men needed some hefty qualifications in order to “wait on tables.” They needed to be full of the Spirit, full of faith and full of wisdom. Let’s look a little deeper.

I like this passage because it fits into my theme of the Body of Christ. All these parts are important: prayer, preaching, service and generosity. Each needs the gift of the Holy Spirit in order to complete the Body, and with this division of labor, the word of God spread and their numbers increased (Acts 6:7).

Oh,Yes!

So in other words, the waitresses—also known as those gifted in service—were important. Not only did they allow the preachers freedom to do their jobs unhindered, their works of service spoke their faith for them. The message of Jesus Christ was displayed at their hands. Look at how Stephen was regarded among them!

The Bible tells us more. Though we know Stephen was not chosen for his ability to orate, when the Holy Spirit called him to do so, he did. It says men tried to argue with him about his faith, but could not stand up against the wisdom by whom he spoke (Acts 6:10). And look at his long verbal history of the Jewish people in chapter 7. He knew his stuff—or at least he knew the Spirit which could give him the stuff. He was a man of great faith and is counted among the heroes of the Bible.

This is another example of how God can work in us. He created us for a purpose and gave us special gifts to use for that purpose. Yet he is powerful enough to call us out from our strengths to work even where we are weak. Why? To remind us, “Who gave man his mouth?” (Exodus 4:11-12).

So step out in faith and use your gifts. Whether or not you think they amount to anything, God knows they will. He will show you His power when you trust in Him and follow His call.

Other posts you might like:

Do You Have a Get-in-the-Chair Kind of Faith?

Do You Ever Feel Your Offering to God is Too Small?

I’m Not Able On My Own

What You Can Do for the Weary and Burdened Who Have Special Needs

I usually try not to post about the same thing on too many sites at the same time, but this week I am devoting my “ministry” posts to ONE thing and that is the Accessibility Summit at McLean Bible Church. This is a conference for churches and congregants to learn how they can serve the Special Needs Community.

Now, I ask you to do something for me this week. Go to your church and look for the disabled. If you can get your hands on the stats of disabled at your church and that of the surrounding community, that would be even better. My fear is that you will find your public school system serving more disabled than your church … and THAT is a SHAME. What happened to living Jesus’ words, “Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28)? Do we not believe the disabled and/or the families of disabled are weary and burdened?

Hmmmm.

A few years ago, I went on a search for churches that could provide what my son needed when we attended. I checked out some large, almost mega-, churches and saw not one wheelchair. I entered into the children’s ministry to inform them of my son’s needs and heard words like, “Yeah, we had an autistic child here once.”

What?!!! Once?!!! This church was HUGE and it had an autistic child once? Given the rate of autism is something like 1 in every 110, this church should have seen many more than one, not to mention those with other learning disorders or disabilities.

So why aren’t the weary (these individuals AND those caring for them) showing up? Probably because, for some reason, they do not feel welcome. Churches are waiting for the individuals to darken their doorsteps BEFORE they provide the services needed, saying, “Well, we don’t have any special needs families, so why create a ministry?” when really they should be preparing the services KNOWING they are needed, then going out and finding the burdened to serve. Believe me, they are out there … alone and isolated.

We’ve spent too much time over the last weeks judging a young man with autism and a mother who raised him for the senseless deaths of young children. Let’s do more than judge. Let’s act! Could churches engaging these families have changed the outcome? Who knows, but it’s worth a look! At the very least, by engaging, we will be more aware of potential warning signs. At best, we could provide opportunities for community where none existed before—In Christ!!!

Our churches should have MORE families with disabilities than the public school system, not less. Having mentioned churches with the opposite, I am compelled to tell you of one that meets this criteria—McLean Bible Church in McLean, Virginia. When I visited I saw parents holding hands of Downs Children, couples signing in the hallway, congregants leading blind members, and others pushing wheelchairs. It was awesome!!! The work of Christ was visible everywhere you looked. This church has made it a critical mission to serve these families, and better yet, can provide YOU with what you need to do the same at YOUR church. It’s called Accessibility Summit, a conference for churches who want to start and grow this ministry. It will be held April 19^th-20^th, and will feature Emily Colson, daughter of Chuck Colson and mother of Max (who has autism).

I highly recommend you either attend or request your church send a representative to attend. You won’t be sorry! This is an opportunity to grow an important ministry serving those Jesus begged you to serve: The weary and burdened. And if you do this, I KNOW you will find a myriad of giftings among your new congregants which your church so desperately needs—important “members” of the Body of Christ.

1 Corinthians 12:22 (NIV) “ … those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable.”

So go out and find your indispensable members!!!

God Bless!

Related Posts:

The Great and the Small, Part 4—How One Small Girl Inspired A Ministry of Access

Jake the Encourager, by H.L. Wegley

Where Have All the Flowers Gone, by Monika Holt

I Need a Miracle

Check out this great video about the inspiration to one of Third Day’s newest releases:

This is why I write!!!

No, I don’t imagine someone driving in the woods and pulling out my fiction novel for one last read before they end it all, only to be saved by my words. But I have already been blessed to have heard how something I had on my blog—that I didn’t even write—was used by Him to better someone’s life. Nothing more empowering than knowing you’ve been used as an empty vessel … even though the power was all His, through the writing of someone else.

I don’t know if my work will ever touch even a fraction of the lives Third Day’s has, but none of that matters, because even one life can have far-rippling impact. See the story of the one man who reached one man, whose ministry today spans continents and whose church serves families with special needs like no other.

You, too, can have this impact! So don’t delay. Don’t worry about largeness of ministry or numbers of people, but healing of hearts and filling of souls. Who knows, you may be the subject of a story like this one: “I was really down one day, feeling there was no meaning in the world until this person approached me and …”

You fill in the rest—with your life!!!

The following is a list of posts from the Gomer Testimonies, a series about Third Day fans (aka. Gomers) whose faith was impacted by the music of Third Day. It really happens!

Cathy Payton’s Gomer Testimony

Greg Holt—A Gomer Testimony

Robyn C’s Journey to God

Rachel Rutledge—A Gomer Testimony

Put Norman Rockwell Away for the Holidays!

The following is an article by Carol Barnier about how those of us with children who have learning … uh … differences can enjoy the holidays. And remember, these “differences” are what make each child a unique part of the Body of Christ. Specially designed for His purposes. God will use it all! But for now, find out how your Christmas can be beautiful even if it doesn’t look like a Normal Rockwell …

It’s time for the holidays—whoo hoo!
Are you excited?
Full of anticipation?
Or quietly terrified.

For the typical family, holidays are simply a great change of routine.
These folks actually look forward to the many things that will be different during this season
– a vacation from the standard
– a step away from the predictable
– a break with the daily routine

But that very change of routine, along with odd hours, different foods, different sounds, different activities and a WHOLE different set of behavior expectations– these are the things that can unravel our kids, and consequently put a damper on everyone’s holiday.

Holidays Take Things Up a Notch
Let’s face it. The standards at home are simply more relaxed, as they frankly should be. There are things and behaviors in the privacy of our home that we often just let pass. . .behaviors that while perhaps not appropriate elsewhere, are simply no big deal at home. The emphasis is on enjoying time as a family, having a place where you belong. So Junior’s continued fascination with how many state capitols he can burp through just isn’t a crisis. Susy-Q’s fear of foods that have touched each other on her plate is easily managed. But now, with the arrival of the holiday, suddenly the game has changed. Our kids feel the tension. They can tell that there is now a different, higher, more difficult standard to be met, and it’s creating a fear in them of being the cause of someone’s disappointment.
So what can we do? Do we just have to accept that the holidays will be a massive disappointment? Filled with tension? Zapping our energy rather than renewing us? Do we just have to endure them with as little damage as possible till they have passed?

Nope. Here’s your assignment for today.

Right now, this very moment, put your Norman Rockwell notions of the perfect holiday in a box.
Choose a pretty little box, one worthy of such noble and lovely expectations. Put a snappy mental bow around it. (Personally, I’m fond of teal.)
Now put the box under the bed. . .far far to the back, behind the growing collection of dust bunnies. (I don’t know about you, but our dust bunnies have formed a colony, elected a Governor and are passing laws. They murmur as I pass by.)

While you’re putting that box away, if you take the time to look, you should see another box hidden in the shadows under the bed.
Reach in deep and pull it out.
You’ll know it. It’s a ratty looking little thing.
The corners are dented in.
There’s some kind of food stain along the top and splashed down one side.
There’s a bow too. . .sort of. But it looks rather hurriedly thrown together, a tad askew, and showing more than a few unraveling threads.

Yes, pull it all the way out into the light.
Here it comes.
THIS is your box. It is how holidays often go.
It is reality.

Now, hold it on your lap, tug on that bow, take the lid off and look inside.
While the holiday boxes of other families have a standard complement of items,
yours is full of things that one wouldn’t expect, things that are surprising and completely unpredictable.
Your box contains some odd things, some funny things, some hysterical things, maybe even some shocking things.
But each one brings a memory that is uniquely your family’s.

And weaving in and out of all the memories in this box is the heavy cord of love you feel for your family.
This family.
This unpredictable family.
This often oh-so-very UN-Rockwell family.

Don’t let someone else decide what your family’s holiday season should contain.
Don’t let a rigid list that has developed over time become the only blueprint for your enjoyment.
Don’t pull out and cart around a set of demanding expectations that may then serve to destroy your ability to enjoy the love in this box that you have.

Keep your mind and your heart on THIS box this season.
Your holiday memories are YOURS to create.
Do what works for you and your family.
Do what brings love, laughter and life.
Nothing more is needed.

 

Carol will be joining us again next Friday to talk about the subject of her new book, Engaging Today’s Prodigal. We’ll see you then!

 

 

 

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Carol Barnier is a fresh, fun and popular conference speaker unlike any you’ve heard before. Her objective is to have the wit of Erma Bombeck crossed with the depth of C.S. Lewis, but admits that most days, she only achieves a solid Lucy Ricardo with a bit of Bob the Tomato. She is a frequent guest commentator on Focus on the Family’s Weekend Magazine broadcast, has been a guest on many radio programs and is a speaker to conferences nationwide. She’s the author of three books about dealing with (or possessing) a non-linear mind in a linear world: How to Get Your Child Off the Refrigerator and On To Learning, If I’m Diapering a Watermelon, Then Where’d I Leave the Baby?, and The Big WHAT NOW Book of Learning Styles. Her main websites are CarolBarnier.com and SizzleBop.com. You can also find Carol at her blog for moms with distractible kids at SizzleBop. And for fun, see her church humor blog at CarolBarnier.

Other posts you might like:

D is for Dyslexia, By Molly Noble Bull

I’m Dyslexic, By Jane Perrine

Jake The Encourager, By H.L. Wegley